LIFE GIVING

I had my first of 18 LIFE GIVING TREATMENTS today. It was a beautiful day....from my room I could look out the window and see the outdoor picnic area. The nurses were all precious and compassion leaped from them as they gently cared for me. The 6 hours that I was there...I slept, read, talked to anyone who would listen....(Joanna says that I never meet a stranger and she thinks that I have an invisible sign that reads, "got a problem, need to talk, I'm available.") and purred like a kitten cause Stan was closer to me than white on rice. It really breaks my heart when I think of people hurting...all alone. That is why I'll shout "Thank You Jesus!!!" all the days of my life for the loving support that surrounds me. In my quiet time of prayer, I pray especially for the lonely and the suffering. They told me that the LIFE I received today usually doesn't make you sick....and so far I feel WONDERFUL!We have to arrive in Atlanta for round 2 by 8am. SOOOO that means early wake up. Thank yall for all your prayers, I can feel them....they strengthen me. I love you all so much.....xoxox

from chemo to life saver

I had some problems with the word chemo. I've been praying for my mind and heart to think of it differently. Because I know how important a Postive attitude has to do with my recovery. So....I'm slowly coming around and now I refer to it as my life saver. Ofcouse my only life SAVER is the one and only SAVIOR Jesus Christ....but I know He is in charge and has directed my path from day 1. It feels so much better to say "life saver" instead of......_____.

I'm working hard on any and every negative thing in my life. Everyday I discover something that I need to change.

Being sick...God has really opened my eyes to life. What a blessing!

it feels good to be just me

I woke up early and knew instantly that I felt GREAT. I went out on the deck and the sun was beginning to rise. As I looked over the Smokies and all their grandure, I thanked my God for his healing. Just to feel "somewhat" normal is such a blessing.

protect me from myself

I was doing so good, that is until I went to sleep with my arm on the back of the couch and it fell dead weight on to my infection site. I started crying but didn't wake up Stan...even sick I still try to protect him. So I had several days of severe pain and at times couldn't even walk. I called the Dr. and was told that I just stirred up all the nerves and it wasn't serious but with ibuprofen and heat I would get over it in time. Sounds so easy...NOT! But finally my pain has gone from a 10 to a 1. And I'm so thankful. Lord, help me not to hurt the process of your healing.


Although I was in pain I was determined to go to church. My Sunday School Class had a praise luncheon. I said, "I'm going if I have to crawl there." It was just great. They prayed for me and loved on me. I just sat there, still as a mouse...praying the pain would not visit.

I had made plans to go to my cousin's cabin in the Smokies the next day. I was so excited..it felt like Christmas. After I got hurt I prayed that I could still go. I knew I could get better there and fought the idea of not going. Well, I made it...after a couple of hard days, I started getting relief.
Thank you Jesus! Now here I sit surrounded by God's beauty, peace, and cool, pure breezes....pain gone...and loving life. They are treating me like a princess...how am I going to go back to the life of a hard working girl? Alot of prayer.....


Everything, I mean EVERYTHING is so precious now. Thats what is so amazing... that sickness opens your eyes to see really for the 1st time. Thank you Lord for the second chance at life, thank you for opening my eyes to your beauty in everyone and everything.

the day I felt sorry for myself

One day I was suffering like I never knew exsisted and I began to ask the Lord if He'd forgotten me. I said, "I know that you haven't but I still want to tell you what I feel like. I feel like that turtle that I talk about with 3 broke legs. And somebody has thrown me on the backside of no where and I've landed on my back with my broken legs and 1 good one waving around. To the side of me and completely out of reach is a rope with a sign that reads, "pull if you need help." Immediately, I asked for forgivness because I knew I even in my present trouble is still so very blessed. He has not left me for 1 second.

Stan and I went to my friend's beauty shop and he washed my hair. He did a great job. He is going to have to work on his drying skills.

I don't know what I'd do without my family and friends.

It seems like forever and a day since I've been able to catch yall up.........so today I'm going to attempt to do just that. Let's see where do we start??? I know, whatever comes to my mind I'll type.

My stay at St. Josephs was very pleasant. Everyone that took care of me from taking my temp, giving me meds, changing my bed, and even the yuck stuff....was wonderful. I felt so good after surgery and thought "ok, I can do this." I didnt have a clue what I was in for. But was determined to have a postive attitude and fight to get back to being me, but a better me. This second chance God is so precious for giving me has me fired up. The outpour of LOVE to me and my family.....there are no words to say what my heart feels so when I get well I'll have tons more sympathy and be much more generous. Cards, prayers, food, money, flowers and gifts....Wow! Support from any and everybody comes to see me everyday. For several days I talked out of my head and ate, drank immaginary foods....Then I got thrush. That was no fun at all. They gave me miracle mouthwash and said, " just swish it in your teeth and swallow it." It felt like I was swallowing toothpaste...I cringe still at the thoughts. After 6 days I got to come home. I sleep in the recliner most nights. Stan fixes me a tray of meds and a walkie talkie to call him when I've got to go to the bathroom. I call him my midnight angel. With my incision, I can't get up or down by myself so he has to do it. Several nights ...us both in our underwear have walked the yards hoping it would help my legs not feel numb. I'm hanging in there, the process of healing is taking patience I don't have. I want to be back so bad and so right now. Just to feel normal will be wonderful. One day I woke up and felt great, that lasted for 2 hours. I got a horendous infection where my drain was and it knocked the life out of me for about a week. Anyway, I got my port for the chemo put in yesterday. It went very well. So in about 3 weeks I'll probably start my treatments. I've been so brave but I'm apprehensive about the chemo. I've always hated to hear that word and I feel like I'm letting an enemy inside. So please friends pray that my mind is renewed and I receive it as a friend. I want to thank all of you for everything, without my friends, family, and faith.....I'd be forever lost. I love you all. Oh by the way for the past 3 days....I've felt great so I'm hoping I'm on the come back.

I haven't updated in a while so I will try to catch you all up on what's been going on. Today, mom went back to the doctor to have the staples and drain removed. She was a little worried it was going to hurt but really anxious to be rid of it all. Surprisingly enough, she said having the staples removed felt kinda good. haha! The drain on the other hand was a different story. We're glad that's over with.
Her spirits are still really high. Today I actually thought she seemed more like herself more so than any other day since her surgery (or before for that matter). When she came home on Wednesday, she wasn't feeling that great and continued to feel this way until about Saturday night. So seeing her feel better was definitely a good thing.
Her appetite has been little to non existent but getting better by the day. She would eat like maybe 2 bites of a cracker and be full or just not interested. She really didn't want to eat but we kept pushing it because we knew she really needed the energy to get better and get moving. This lasted until about Saturday as well. I had sushi the other night and gave her a piece and she loved it. She liked it okay before but wasn't really crazy about it. Since that bite, she has been craving it! So you can be assured, sushi is what she had tonight.
Not this Friday but next, mom will go back to Atlanta to have the port put in. The doctor suggested doing this because by the time the soreness goes away from having the port put in it will be time to begin chemo. After the port is done, we are thinking chemo will begin 3 weeks or so later.

That's it for now.
Joanna