LIFE GIVING

I had my first of 18 LIFE GIVING TREATMENTS today. It was a beautiful day....from my room I could look out the window and see the outdoor picnic area. The nurses were all precious and compassion leaped from them as they gently cared for me. The 6 hours that I was there...I slept, read, talked to anyone who would listen....(Joanna says that I never meet a stranger and she thinks that I have an invisible sign that reads, "got a problem, need to talk, I'm available.") and purred like a kitten cause Stan was closer to me than white on rice. It really breaks my heart when I think of people hurting...all alone. That is why I'll shout "Thank You Jesus!!!" all the days of my life for the loving support that surrounds me. In my quiet time of prayer, I pray especially for the lonely and the suffering. They told me that the LIFE I received today usually doesn't make you sick....and so far I feel WONDERFUL!We have to arrive in Atlanta for round 2 by 8am. SOOOO that means early wake up. Thank yall for all your prayers, I can feel them....they strengthen me. I love you all so much.....xoxox

from chemo to life saver

I had some problems with the word chemo. I've been praying for my mind and heart to think of it differently. Because I know how important a Postive attitude has to do with my recovery. So....I'm slowly coming around and now I refer to it as my life saver. Ofcouse my only life SAVER is the one and only SAVIOR Jesus Christ....but I know He is in charge and has directed my path from day 1. It feels so much better to say "life saver" instead of......_____.

I'm working hard on any and every negative thing in my life. Everyday I discover something that I need to change.

Being sick...God has really opened my eyes to life. What a blessing!

it feels good to be just me

I woke up early and knew instantly that I felt GREAT. I went out on the deck and the sun was beginning to rise. As I looked over the Smokies and all their grandure, I thanked my God for his healing. Just to feel "somewhat" normal is such a blessing.

protect me from myself

I was doing so good, that is until I went to sleep with my arm on the back of the couch and it fell dead weight on to my infection site. I started crying but didn't wake up Stan...even sick I still try to protect him. So I had several days of severe pain and at times couldn't even walk. I called the Dr. and was told that I just stirred up all the nerves and it wasn't serious but with ibuprofen and heat I would get over it in time. Sounds so easy...NOT! But finally my pain has gone from a 10 to a 1. And I'm so thankful. Lord, help me not to hurt the process of your healing.


Although I was in pain I was determined to go to church. My Sunday School Class had a praise luncheon. I said, "I'm going if I have to crawl there." It was just great. They prayed for me and loved on me. I just sat there, still as a mouse...praying the pain would not visit.

I had made plans to go to my cousin's cabin in the Smokies the next day. I was so excited..it felt like Christmas. After I got hurt I prayed that I could still go. I knew I could get better there and fought the idea of not going. Well, I made it...after a couple of hard days, I started getting relief.
Thank you Jesus! Now here I sit surrounded by God's beauty, peace, and cool, pure breezes....pain gone...and loving life. They are treating me like a princess...how am I going to go back to the life of a hard working girl? Alot of prayer.....


Everything, I mean EVERYTHING is so precious now. Thats what is so amazing... that sickness opens your eyes to see really for the 1st time. Thank you Lord for the second chance at life, thank you for opening my eyes to your beauty in everyone and everything.

the day I felt sorry for myself

One day I was suffering like I never knew exsisted and I began to ask the Lord if He'd forgotten me. I said, "I know that you haven't but I still want to tell you what I feel like. I feel like that turtle that I talk about with 3 broke legs. And somebody has thrown me on the backside of no where and I've landed on my back with my broken legs and 1 good one waving around. To the side of me and completely out of reach is a rope with a sign that reads, "pull if you need help." Immediately, I asked for forgivness because I knew I even in my present trouble is still so very blessed. He has not left me for 1 second.

Stan and I went to my friend's beauty shop and he washed my hair. He did a great job. He is going to have to work on his drying skills.

I don't know what I'd do without my family and friends.

It seems like forever and a day since I've been able to catch yall up.........so today I'm going to attempt to do just that. Let's see where do we start??? I know, whatever comes to my mind I'll type.

My stay at St. Josephs was very pleasant. Everyone that took care of me from taking my temp, giving me meds, changing my bed, and even the yuck stuff....was wonderful. I felt so good after surgery and thought "ok, I can do this." I didnt have a clue what I was in for. But was determined to have a postive attitude and fight to get back to being me, but a better me. This second chance God is so precious for giving me has me fired up. The outpour of LOVE to me and my family.....there are no words to say what my heart feels so when I get well I'll have tons more sympathy and be much more generous. Cards, prayers, food, money, flowers and gifts....Wow! Support from any and everybody comes to see me everyday. For several days I talked out of my head and ate, drank immaginary foods....Then I got thrush. That was no fun at all. They gave me miracle mouthwash and said, " just swish it in your teeth and swallow it." It felt like I was swallowing toothpaste...I cringe still at the thoughts. After 6 days I got to come home. I sleep in the recliner most nights. Stan fixes me a tray of meds and a walkie talkie to call him when I've got to go to the bathroom. I call him my midnight angel. With my incision, I can't get up or down by myself so he has to do it. Several nights ...us both in our underwear have walked the yards hoping it would help my legs not feel numb. I'm hanging in there, the process of healing is taking patience I don't have. I want to be back so bad and so right now. Just to feel normal will be wonderful. One day I woke up and felt great, that lasted for 2 hours. I got a horendous infection where my drain was and it knocked the life out of me for about a week. Anyway, I got my port for the chemo put in yesterday. It went very well. So in about 3 weeks I'll probably start my treatments. I've been so brave but I'm apprehensive about the chemo. I've always hated to hear that word and I feel like I'm letting an enemy inside. So please friends pray that my mind is renewed and I receive it as a friend. I want to thank all of you for everything, without my friends, family, and faith.....I'd be forever lost. I love you all. Oh by the way for the past 3 days....I've felt great so I'm hoping I'm on the come back.

I haven't updated in a while so I will try to catch you all up on what's been going on. Today, mom went back to the doctor to have the staples and drain removed. She was a little worried it was going to hurt but really anxious to be rid of it all. Surprisingly enough, she said having the staples removed felt kinda good. haha! The drain on the other hand was a different story. We're glad that's over with.
Her spirits are still really high. Today I actually thought she seemed more like herself more so than any other day since her surgery (or before for that matter). When she came home on Wednesday, she wasn't feeling that great and continued to feel this way until about Saturday night. So seeing her feel better was definitely a good thing.
Her appetite has been little to non existent but getting better by the day. She would eat like maybe 2 bites of a cracker and be full or just not interested. She really didn't want to eat but we kept pushing it because we knew she really needed the energy to get better and get moving. This lasted until about Saturday as well. I had sushi the other night and gave her a piece and she loved it. She liked it okay before but wasn't really crazy about it. Since that bite, she has been craving it! So you can be assured, sushi is what she had tonight.
Not this Friday but next, mom will go back to Atlanta to have the port put in. The doctor suggested doing this because by the time the soreness goes away from having the port put in it will be time to begin chemo. After the port is done, we are thinking chemo will begin 3 weeks or so later.

That's it for now.
Joanna

Mom's home

Mom and Dad made it home from the hospital today. She has gotten rid of all but 1 tube. The doctor bandaged her neck where the iv was removed and it is bothering her pretty bad. Thankfully that comes off tomorrow too. Yesterday as well as today have been harder days for her. She can't seem to really pin point what hurts or aches, she just doesn't feel well. I guess it's a part of the process too. She also has developed thrush (what a lot of babies get) in the back of her throat from taking all of the antibiotics. This could be a part of the culprit that is making her feel yucky. I believe in a week or so she will be going back to the doctor. Probably to schedule her first chemo treatment and have the staples removed. So we are all just settling in... trying to get used to the adjustments and new routines to help things run smoother.
Mom read all of her cards that came in the mail while she was in hospital today. It really blessed her big. Thanks for making her smile. Means more than you know.

Thank you for the continued love and prayers,
Joanna

silly willy

Here's a video of mom and her silly self if you need a good laugh.
She's crazy! I'm sure you all knew this already :)

I am going to try to share a piece of my story....which may or may not fall into place. I always want to share my healing with you and the restoration to my body.


Every single day I get hooked up to LIFE. I see so much clearer now. I am starting to understand like never before. My body is growing stronger by the second. My mind seems alot clearer of the anesthesia. The pain is getting better.

Why is it when you're trying to do something good, someone has to make sure you don't get too excited? When I start my walking around the nureses station, it never fails that someone will have some kind of comment.

Like either, "honey, you've got that on backwards, don't leave this floor, no playing on the elevators, don't over do it and don't under do it, and don't eat too much but you need to eat now. We're going to walk and we're going to shower but we never make it for the task at hand.

But all in all......everyone and I mean everyone has left their imprint. This is truly a rewarding experience.

A lot of progress!

Mom had a great day today. Each day she seems to be doing better and better. She looks great, ya'll. Yesterday we convinced her to walk a lap around the nurses station. It was a pretty long walk. Afterwards she joked and said, "if ya'll would have told me how far that would have been, I would have slapped everyone of you." haha! Martha Jo, Gay, Juliette, and I were all like a little train following her around the hall holding onto all of her tubes. Jo has been like a saint to mom. I swear the woman hasn't left mom's side. Don's certainly been a trooper too. What a powerful friendship they share. It's pretty incredible to see someone willing to sacrafice so much. All mom has to do is say one word and Jo is at it. I know it makes us all feel better knowing she's in such good care. Mom is one blessed lady to have so many people rooting her on through this valley.

So, back to the progress. Yesterday mom made one lap. Today she made 5 and 1/2!! Whoo Hoo, GOOOOO Momma! She also showered and finally was able to eat some jello and tea. She was so happy to be able to put something in her mouth other than ice chips. She's looking good, folks. Continue to keep her, as well as all of us, in your prayers.

Goodnight everyone,
Joanna

This song has always been special to me. Even more so now. As I was making the drive back home tonight it came on the radio. I couldn't help but think of my special momma who has the faith and love for Jesus Christ like no one I have ever seen.

Chat with ya'll soon,
Joanna

Mercy Me - Bring the Rain

www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8HgAVenbUU

post surgery

I thought I would update you all on mom after the surgery...

Surgery was Wednesday. The doctor said he got 99% of the cancer. He also said he removed over 6 liters of fluid. CRAZY! Her omentum (which is normally similiar to a thin, lacy cloth) was about 2 inches thick, hard as a brick, and full of tumors. We are certainly glad that's outta there! He also said he didn't see where the cancer had spread to any other sorrounding organs. We are so thankful for this! We are hoping and believing she will respond very well to the chemo and will soon be cancer free! Today the nurse came in to remove the dressing over her incision which is about 12 inches long. I was a little nervous about how this would look, but was quite pleased when I saw it. No redness or anything. It looks really good. Mom was out from the meds and slept most of the time I was there. We were thankful she was sleeping... hopefully keeping her mind away from the pain. On a side note, Tuesday afternoon Patrick said that a friend of his said his mom had a historectomy and was mean afterwards. He wanted to know if mom was going to be that way. We laughed about it. I told him I didn't think mom would ever be mean. I also told mom about this conversation. After the surgery, and I mean' right after, as they wheeled her to her room, she looked at Patrick and said, "See, I'm not mean." She is so funny! Even with all that she has gone through, not once has she had a pity party, been upset, or even frustrated for that matter. She is still the same ol' momma who makes us all laugh continously with her jokes and admire at the same time with her undisturbed faith that Jesus is all over this.

Today I travelled back up to St. Joseph's after my daycare duties of course. She was a hoot, ya'll. Oh my goodness. She was feeling nauseaus so they gave her some medicine for relief. Apparently it made her a bit loopy (more so than usual) haha! As I walked into the room she said, "fasten your seatbelt Jo," meaning she knew she was talking crazy. She was feeding herself pork, mashed potatoes, and ginger snaps, cleaning out the car, putting shoes in her closet, told dad to go to Kroger because they could count it faster, she told Martha Jo to pick up Austin, she wanted the Dr.'s fax number, asked me what Chris was doing tonight because she wanted him and Jeremy to talk to the lawyer, and the list goes on and on.... After she said something, I couldn't help but laugh. She would come out of it for a minute and realize that she was making absolutly no sense and roll her eyes or laugh but it wasn't 2 minutes and she was at it again. I told her at least she was keeping us entertained. We got her out of the bed. She stood up and then sat in a chair for about 10 minutes. So that is definitely progress.

That's all for now.
I will try to keep you updated.
Joanna

finally....

Yesterday I decided to go meet Stan in the drive for a walk. I ran as fast as a turtle with 3 broke legs....but 1st to the bathroom. Inch by inch I make it and by this time we're at the end of the drive where we turn around and head back to the house. I look back at Stan and he has this bewildered look on his face, my entire gown in the back in tucked into my pannies. What a sight. I told him to watch out for me when we are out in public because there is no telling what I might do. Things like this happen when I'm not sick, so with me sick......we have to use caution. I'm so glad I wasn't parading up and down the hospital hallway.

This day can't happen soon enough for me.......

Prepping for surgery

Today starts with Magnesium Citrate.....and a liquid diet. I keep wanting to think, "when you wake up from surgery, you're going to be in different kind of torment and they will know the whole story....and you can't hide or escape any of it." Dear Lord, you haven't forgotten any of the details so far and I know that you've already gotton my recovery covered. Help me to remember this and rest in your care. Your love amazes me with every breath I take. Lord, hold my loved ones tight through this storm. Thanks for this beautiful day.

surgery on the horizon.....

Only God! If I wasn't draggin with all this fluid, I'd be flying. I am so amazed that my surgery is scheduled Wednesday at 3:30. It seems a bit odd that I'd be shouting for joy with everything this means, but honestly to get relief from the fulid will be worth a million. The Dr. was really nice and so were the nurses. I can see God's handprint on everybody that plays a part. Yall keep praying for me, this is huge. I hope that I stay out of it all day and night Wednesday. I'm going to have numerous contraptions hooked up to me post surgery but it's part of the healing process. I'm still doing good, I continue to stay in the GRACE ....just my body is tired of feeling so bad. When I wake up hurting, I try to pray for all the hurting people. Hoping a little love can light hope for all of them. Sweet Dreams.

The night before my dr. apt. in Atlanta

What I deeply want to share with anybody that wants to hear.....I am in the GRACE! I first called it my sweet place, my secret place, my sacred place, but it is total grace. THE moment that the Dr. told me that it was cancer, I stepped into this bubble of grace and that is where I remain. I have had no fear what-so-ever. In fact I've never felt so loved, Perfect love casts out all fear. Dear Lord as I face the giant I know you've got this and that this battle is yours. So once again I choose to crawl up in your arms of love and let you rock me to sleep. Sweet Dreams.